tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
