im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
