Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
