Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
