Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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