Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
