Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize