Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
