we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize