I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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