I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
