Your dad touched me again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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