Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
