i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
