Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
