My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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