I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
