After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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