he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
don't judge my taste in strippers
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
