I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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