Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
