just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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