lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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