God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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