belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
