I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
