I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
