Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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