ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
