you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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