dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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