No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
this will be a night to untag.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
