So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
