your thong is hanging out like whoa
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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