btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
my poor anus
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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