That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
