i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
