When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize