problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
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