Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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