Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
