Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
