Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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