That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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