After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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