You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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