I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
