So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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