Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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