he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Farmville is her only friend.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize