i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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