About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
