hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Soap is not a condiment
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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