Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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