I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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