So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize