you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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