I didn't shave. On purpose
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
