I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
