sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize