I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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