He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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