it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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