She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
