Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
