Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize