cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize