During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
