capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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