I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
