I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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